i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
