bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
