Having a random hookup so left but love u
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
