i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
