No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
