Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
