I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
