I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
