from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
