Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
