"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
