Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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