Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
