So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
