Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That accounts for only three of the penises
I AM VODKA MAN
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
