I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
