I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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