I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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