thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
