You can't special order awesome
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
