My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
