In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
