Can i not drive my cunt home
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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