just come out here and I will go home with you...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
