He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I love having hate sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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