I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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