why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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