kristin has been a bad kristin
im about as happy as oj after his trial
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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