You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
