The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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