I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
