Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
