Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
someone owes me an orgasm
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
