today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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