I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
