thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
