FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
