I need help removing her.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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