the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
