did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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