he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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