what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
