Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
