I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
