oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
