I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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