If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
