There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Come on in and take your pants off
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