My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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