sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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