why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
